$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
