i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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