The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
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