i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
