So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize