i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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