Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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