i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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