Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
