Come see our sink grown plant.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize