i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
