if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
