Just mADE A PArabola og urine
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
