Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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