Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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