You work out of a Hotel?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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