My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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