I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
