So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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