get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
