The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
