I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
