This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
