She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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