so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
