Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
