HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
