i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My penis needs a shock collar
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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