Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
