Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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