you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
