All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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