whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
