Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
