I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
