I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
