we have officially lost it.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I am naked and annoyed.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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