even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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