Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
