is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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