Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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