It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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