We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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