it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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