Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
