Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
