and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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