imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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