had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize