ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I have feelings that need drinking.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
