I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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