Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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