I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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