i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Randomize
