Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize