I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
