hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
