I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
