I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
