I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
