Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
