So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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