oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
